the storm

the storm comes and goes sometime.
it leaves me with a weird feeling evertime.
standing still.

the storm is violent and calm at the same time.
some days i feel tough and stand proud in front of him.
some days he knows how to hurt me.

the storm comes and goes.
but it doesnt go for good,
i always know that he'll keep coming back.

i see you building the castle with one hand while tearing down another with the other

so many things to say.

i've been home. i've seen him and i've been home. but i didn't feel that comfortable.
everything was just in my mind.
in my thoughts.
i thought i could feel safe while he's around me .
well obviously i couldn't.
i've just idolized pieces of some of the good times we had.
good times of a great fall.
with coffee smell and cigarette smoke.
i didn't realize that all of those good times disappeared with the smoke.

i still regret my silence.
and i still haven't learned to talk.
isn't it weird that as the most talkative and extraverted person that i am , i can not share my feelings. i can't even accept them.
i really have to deal with these things that i feel.

i can't spend a lifetime wandering in the streets like a ghost weeping, crying,feeling.
i can't spend a lifetime feeling, bitter, blue, anxious.

i can be who you want me to be.
but i can'T be your lover.
i can't be a lover.
i am good at being a friend, a girl. just a girl. an almost lover.
yep.
the best thing i can do is to be an almost lover.
but i can't be a lover.
i just can't.

now she's gone love burns inside me

oui, donc ça fait un peu du temps que j'ai pas ecrit.
pourtant je m'habituais a ecrire ce qui me passe par la tete pour mieux voir les choses.
la seule fois ou j'ai essaye de partager mes pensees, je me suis retrouvee sur le cul.

en effet, comme nous pouvons le constater ici, ma relation avait( attention je dis bien avait puisqu'actuellement il ne s'agit plus d'une relation) quelques petits problemes dont la nature etait inconnue.
ayant publie ici tous ces doutes sur la relation, j'ai un peu neglige la personne concernee.
avec le temps qui s'est ecoule la relation c'est donc degradee.
je me suis mise un peu tard, je l'avoue, pour essayer de discuter des problemes, mais pourtant je ne suis pas seule dans cette relation, monsieur aurait bien pu s'y prendre.
contrairement a mes camarades je ne pense pas qu'il soit le seul fautif, ou qu'il soit un batard etc.
je sais qu'il y a des choses a me reprocher, le probleme est que personne (plus precisemment monsieur) n'est venu me faire des reproches.

(a continuer.)