like the deserts miss the rain.

i miss you.
i still can't stand it.
that you're gone without giving me any reasons.
that you can't see you're gone.
that you're so blind that you're not aware i'm not by your side anymore.

i still can't stand it.
that is only in my mind.
that i am dramatizing.

i can't stand myself.
still i can not speak.
i can not share my feelings.
and i just watch them go by.
than it just hurts for awhile.
it hurts really really bad in the beginning.
that the pain fades away also.
and than it is just visions.

i hold on cause cause i won't let go..

birbirne ait olmak.
gercekten bu muydu aramizdaki.
yoksa gecmise donup bakinca bir hayiflanma bir ukde mi.

gunun birinde senin icin cabalayacagim diyor.
peki ben artik istiyor muyum bu cabayi.
hakediyormuyum hatta?

kac yil gecmis.
cok zaman.
zaman asimina inanmaya basladim.
hem kokusu yok.
sureti ise aslinda bir hayal.
kesinlikle zaman asimi.

3 yil gectikten sonra, ve farkli yasamlar surdukten sonra kalkip
"biz aslinda birbirimize aitiz " demek cesaret ister.o zamanlar gostermeliymisiz o cesareti.

kayip bir duyguyu yasama arzusu hala aramizdaki butun konusmalari canli tutuyor.
karsi karisyayken daha iki kelimeyi bir araya getiremeyen insanlar olarak,
buradan buyuk laflar ediyoruz.
cok buyuk benden buyuk.
kocaman.
seni seviyorumlar da degil bunlar.
sensiz yapamam da degil.
cok daha buyuk.
bensenimler.
hayatima devam ederken aniden seni dusluyorumlar bunlar.
daha buyuk.
kocaman ki.
bence sadece laf salatasi.

zaman asimi var bir kere.
3 yil once hissediyordum. su an ?
sadece beynimdeki guzel hikayeler bunlar.
sana aitmiyim?

yalnizca yagmur gosterecek bunu (:

when songs are much more than songs

i miss him.
now, i can feel that i miss him.
if only he were here, just in front of me ,
i'd feel so comfortable.

it is not emotions. or anything physical.
i surely do not feel "something" for him.

it is just sometimes you need somebody,
from the past,
that makes you feel home.
makes you feel good,
bitter maybe.
but good.

i miss him.
if only he were here,
i'd look in his eyes, and i'd feel like a child ( i am a child. ) and we'd talk about songs.
the only thing we could talk about.
and i 'd be home again, for a few hours.
and i'd feel good.